12 weeks old

You got your thumb! You are officially a thumb sucker! You even tried daddy's!

You are cooing like crazy! I woke up one morning to you just playing and talking. It was the sweetest thing ever!

You are waking up about two times a night and have taken to the breast! As soon as I hear you stir I snatch you up and feed you and put you right down. Since there is no stimulation so you fall right asleep. It has been awesome!

Survivors Dinner

I went to a Twin Survivors dinner the other night. Soon as I saw the table;e of ladies I got teary eyed.

I still cant believe this happened to me. I cant believe how alone I have been on this journey. I just wanted to wrap my arms around all the women at the table as soon as I saw them.

They were warm and welcoming and there were more mothers then I expected. After meeting them it seems like I am the only one with vanishing twin although another girl did miscarry her twin as well.

As most of the moms gave birth and lost their twin I felt unworthy when I heard their painful stories. Mine was early, mine was a miscarriage. But as I teared up I was reassured it was about my heart, what I felt, and my family.

I cried some more.

All of the women spoke about the twin they had lost so openly, and without judgment. It was like the baby was just another person on this earth. It felt so good to be able to cry and talk freely without worrying about what everyone else thinks. Because trust me, I see the look you give me, I know you are thinking...

I'm are tired of hearing this- its depressing
Shes crazy because it was just a miscarriage and it happens all the time
and the best- She needs to get over it

and trust me i know its sad, I want to get over and know very well I miscarried because I think about it everyday.

Really besides me spewing out my pain randomly no one has asked how I feel.

No one has talked to me about that sweet little baby and how it changed our lives.

Actually, writing it and realizing that kind of hurts my heart. But its true.

Why is wrong to love a baby that miscarried?

Why cant we talk about its death?

Why cant we celebrate and recognize its heartbeat?

Why cant we mourn with the mother?

By not recognizing the child you are invalidating the excitement, love the mother felt when she saw those heartbeats and the pain the day she only saw only one. Trust me I will never forget either of those days, ever.

And I know, I will never be the same. But I am trying and I am glad that almost a year later I am starting to feel some peace.

10 Weeks Old

You had your first thanksgiving! We went to Grandmama and Grandpapa's first. You weren't 100% yourself but you were awake and still happy. Everybody loved on you.

Then we went to Gigi and Poppops. You met Aunt Paige's parents too. You were asleep pretty much the entire time we were at my parents I figured you were knocked out from all the excitement from earlier that day. Pop Pop watched you the next day so we could shop on blackfriday. You barfed an entire bottle while with him! You went back to sleep and he held you the rest of the time.

You def. like your PopPop you smile at him as soon as he nears. When you do start to whine he tells you its a no whine zone and you smile. Its so cute a few weeks ago you were in his man cave and you wouldn't stop fussing until he sat you in the recliner like the rest of us and then you were one happy camper.

Mommy feels so good again! I want to start moving again so we went on a 4 mile walk the other day. You were up for the first mile then passed out. I am going to try and go on longer walks so hopefully when your neck is stronger we can go on long runs.

You sure do smile a lot. When you are with me and see me you give me the biggest smile! Its takes up your whole face and you just light up. It melts my heart so much. I hope this happiness stays forever! Its amazing even though you cant talk I know you love me so much.

You are a real joy to be around and everyone loves you little boy!

11 Weeks Old

Sorry buddy! I got behind on your weekly updates! You have been a joy to be around. I can tell your reflux is getting under control and over all you are a happy baby.

You are a wild thing and colicky around 2-5 everyday and its rough. But I am hoping to figure something out to get us both through that time!


I swear you are teething because of all of the drool, rash and the fact that you keep putting your hands in your mouth but the ENT said you weren't. Speaking of which you saw the ENT this week and you did well. I felt so bad for you! They did an endoscopy on you, used a microscope in your ears and nose and cleared them out. I had to help hold you down it broke my heart but I guess its just part of the job. The ENT said you only had milk swelling. AMEN!

You started nursing a few weeks ago. Not full meals more like snacks but it was something. Then this week you are actually latching on and taking meals. We have nursed several times a day which is so awesome!

We also are starting to get on a schedule. At 5 I bathe you and start the whine down process. You are passing out around 7 and I started going to bed around then as well. Before I would stay up and go to bed around 10 but that just wasn't working for me. Now by going to bed around 7 I can get around 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep before you wake. You get up around 12-1 and 3-4 then 6. But the past week or so you are ready to rock at 4. Again, another thing that needs to be worked on. The past two days I nursed you at 4 and only moved you from the cradle to my bed so you weren't really woken up and ended up sleeping until around 8. That extra sleep helped both of us!

oh, I almost forgot you had real tears today (thursday)! Break my heart why dont ya?! I guess nap time is a very sad thing :)

You weigh 12 pounds 8 ounces and are 24 1/2 inches long!

8 Weeks Old

You kicked out of your wrap in the middle of the night! I dont even know how you did that!

Your grip is getting better! I am telling you, you are made for judo with that grip!

We took you to the Olive Garden and you did well but  was so tense waiting for u to cry that I didnt enjoy myself.

You have a little bald spot that popped yp last week and it's getting big probably because you move so much.

You got a new car seat because of the accident.

Mommy still doesnt feel well.

On Monday you were extremly colicky. You were up from 5:30am u and finally went down around 8pm. It was rough! You actually didnt fall asleep until I laid you in bed beside me but that did the trick and you went into a deep sleep.

You were great on Halloween. You just laid in our arms as we took you around the neighborhood.

I took you to the doctor on Monday because you barfed up a clear sticky liquid. It freaked me out because I was concerned it would effect your breathing. You were fine of course. I felt dumb going in but I was scared.

You started to laugh and in your sleep! I wish I knew what sweet things you were dreaming about! Then u did it again in the wee hours of the morning the next day.

You weigh 11 lbs

7 Weeks Old

You love cuddling with your blanket! Its so sweet to see you love on something.

Mommy has had severe head aches, and random dizzy spells. They suck!

We spent the weekend with Gigi while your dad worked. We met up with your cousin as well and went shopping at dicsover mills. Again, you did awesome traveling.

Its so much fun to watch you. You seem much more engaged in play and interaction this week.

6 Weeks Old

You were in your first fender bender! You didn't even wake up!

I noticed you are now really looking and watching your mobile. Your grip is getting stronger everyday.

We saw the gi this week and he seemed pretty good. You don't have a milk allergy (thank goodness) so he went ahead and put you on prilsec to help with reflux.

5 Weeks Old

You acted so happy today (Friday) you slept like you were suppose to! You just seemed so happy! we just started Zantac and rice cereal Thursday. Everything was much better until Wednesday and it was obvious the reflux was effecting you. I couldn't sit there and let you struggle so when it didn't go away I took you to dr shore and he referred us to a GI. While there Dr Shore put you on your stomach and I couldn't believe how well you picked your head up. We are going to have to start tummy time.

Friday am was rough.

You started holding things. You held onto my shirt my and even pulled my hair.

You are 10 lbs 10 oz

4 Weeks Old

You are sleeping this very moment and you look so sweet. I can't believe you are one month! Time is going so fast and that scares me! I don't want u to grow up although I wish u could talk to let me know what's wrong with eating!

You went to your dad's company picnic and slept the entire time. Next year you will be running around and you will have a ball. Everyone commented on your hair and talked about how cute you were.

We looked at houses too. You are a really good traveler!

Saturday night you turned on your side! It was so bizarre looking!

You came to my dr today and were awesome I fed you and just laid in my arms. later we went to old navy and target and you slept in the Moby. So many people stopped and complemented you on your hair

When we got home i put you in your swing. You started whimpering so I cane and sat beside u and when you turned and noticed me you gave me the biggest smile! It was the first time you recognized me and it was one of those moments I never want to forget

We switched pediatricians because there is something wrong with eating! I know it! So I looked up Dr. Shore and turns out hes still kicking so you will be seeing him. It was great seeing him and I really trust him. He confirmed you had reflux and put you on zantac and ants us to put rice cereal in your milk. I hope this works!

3 Weeks Old

You are def feeling better! Gigi visited Saturday and you were out all day which is not the norm for you little guy!

That night I sang to you and read to you in your nursery.  It was so nice and you were so calm! I loved it.

I realized I don't know any baby songs and I will have to look up lyrics I did bust out random parts of Disney songs.Speaking of which I cant wait to take you to one-day!

Sunday you were wide awake and when you were up you wanted to be held all day. You scared me by the amount you through up the other day and I wasn't sure if it was projectile or normal.

Then woo, Wednesday and Thursday were rough nights. You thrashed when we went to feed you and refused to rest! The eating thing is awful and I am thinking it is because of reflux.

We went to the dr to follow up on weight and you are back up to your birth weight up and six ounces from last week. We are so happy about that.

You started to coo this week. Not a lot but u started.

We started giving you baths in the tub and  I'm not sure if you like it but you aren't crying! I can't wait till your older and we can play.

On Monday I watched you alone with out daddy and it was rough.

I ordered the Tula insert and it came in this week. We tried it out on Friday and you loved it. I did notice we were both sweaty after wearing it. I know I am hot natured and I hope being that close to me doesnt effect you so its something I need to watch.

Sunday (today) I fed you at four and walked around with you then put you in your cradle and I went to pump. When I came upstairs you were restless so I went to check on you and you were covered in vomit and I mean vomit not spit up. I felt so bad!!!! I am rocking you right now. If I put you down you cry! I really  need to bathe you in a bit because that junks in your hair.

Later that day Shelba and Ron came to see you and took you to your first sit down. We went to blue agave. You were a really good boy and just slept. Mommy had an alcohol free beer and tried your fathers sweet water - yuck guess I have to get used to the hopsy taste.

You also met your cousins this week!! You laid next to isla and it was so cute I can't believe you t both here. I hope that you guys are close!

2 Weeks Old

I started this week off very emotional. I can feel my hormones raging and I am scared of getting the baby blues.

You were in the hospital four days too so that didn't help my emotions either.


Well, actually I didn't feel that emotional I was in mama bear mode. I knew I couldn't cry in front of you or act worried because you would feel it and I didn't want to do that to you. So I tried to remain relaxed around you. I didn't leave your side at the hospital but to eat and get some air.

It didn't bother me one bit being crammed in a little room on a twin bed with your dad.

I literally didn't care about any of that, I just cared about you and sat there with you.

 

38 Weeks Pregnant

We had a Surprise birthday for Gigi and it was so much fun.I bought some small decorations and it was just great. Have I mentioned how much I love lawerneceville and being with everyone?! The next day we had Isla's shower! It was great to see Kathy and Heather who are both pregnant too!!!!

I felt pressure down there for two days and I can feel you pushing on my ribs.

Last night I had major insomnia.

On another note, at Gigi's birthday I had asked for seating for 13, even though there was only 10 of us (I wanted to make sure we weren't cramped up). So we had 3 extra seats. At the birthday we found out Paige was expecting! And for a moment I felt excited because I thought wow, our family is growing we are going to need a bigger table next year. And then I realized that technically we had a chair for our entire growing family (mom, dad, me, mike, stacie +4, nick and paige, Isla, Baby Boy Kelly and Paige's baby) and it hurt because there will always be one baby missing, one forgotten, one excluded...

 And then for some reason I counted the chairs at the table and there were 14. There was one chair for each baby and then the pain didn't hurt as much knowing he had a chair that night.

I am currently 3 cm and I am starting to feel a lot of cramping.

37 Weeks Pregnant

I woke up and I can tell u are starting to drop. I am starting to have lots of cramping around 10 minutes apart. I went ahead and downloaded the contraction counter to start tracking everything and just gauge where everything is and what x time feels like.

I napped hard yesterday and it felt great.

Daddy started painting your room and set up your car seat.

I am a roller coaster of emotions.

35 Weeks Pregnant

I've been emotional and missing a. Its getting harder not easier for some reason. I am completely fine then BOOM sorrow. It only hits for a few minutes and then that sorrow is gone, I guess thats grief for ya.

I went to baby Gus' shower and chowed down on Swedish meatballs and cake. I felt so alive being around people and seeing where they lived I am more confident in moving.

I am getting anxious over all the things that need to be done. I actually wore a baggy shirt and cut grass after everyone went to work- I felt so much better afterwards, pushing a lawn mower is so much easier then getting up or bending over. Not to mention I felt a huge sigh of relief once it was taken care of!

I am now napping about three hours a day with lots of breaks throughout the day.

I just started to meditate again.

OMG, I had lightning groin three times one day- I googled just that and it's a real thing!

I am starting to see my perontologist every week here on out!

34 Weeks Pregnant

woo my body is tired!

I can't see my toes unless I bend forward!! Ahh!!

My are fingers swollen!

You are 5 lbs 13 oz

33 Weeks Pregnant

I am getting nervous thinking about the L&D room. Its a huge room and there will be litttle ol' me in the middle of it!

My ankles and lower back hurt and when I told mike this he said its because I'm a waddler now and something will always be swollen.  HA.

I am Mike is trying to paint nursery and I'm feeling agitated over it all.

I am still missing my sweet a.

32 Weeks Pregnant

I noticed I'm gaining weight pretty fast and its kinda making me anxious. The doctors haven't said anything about it so Im rolling with it!

I visited Gigi for the week since mike was out of town. We shopped and had lots of fun, booty head.

You are 4 pounds 13 oz, 33 weeks 6 days,

31 Weeks Pregnant

Your chair came in! It feels so small since I am used to my down stairs oversized chair! Hoepfully I will get used to it. So you now have a dresser, crib and chair- the room is looking like a room, yay!

I def look pregnant now, and I have been so itchy! You know what thats means, more bio oil!

You kicked my ribs so hard I thought they were fractured but luckiky the pain went away after a day.

I am preparing for your shower tomorrow hosted by Gigi

30 Weeks Pregnant

So this will be our last fourth of July as a Family of two! And what did we do you may ask...sleep.

We went to the breast feeding class this week and it was really good! We found out northside has a bra store just for moms so guess where I will be going!

We bought your dresser this week and I cant wait to put all your sweet little things in it.

I was walking in target and you must have kicked my lung because it caused me to heave over!

We bought your rocking chair!

I Found out slightly anemic so I was put on some iron. Lack of iron can cause drowsiness so hopefully I will feel a little better soon.

Leah told how to efficiently pee while pregnant! Sounds silly but it made a world of difference and I am not nearly waking up as much at night! Thanks Leah! S

I went to northside and got fitted for bra! I feel so much better! Those suckers have been out of control. I just missed Katherine too! She was there at the same time!

 I bought little bins for your toys this week and man I turned into a puddle of love when I was putting things in them for you.

29 Weeks Pregnant

Passed the 3 hour diabetes test- thank God! I knew I didn't pass the first one as soon as I saw the doctors number on my phone. I am not sure why people complain so much about that drink either the first one wasnt bad at all! I took shots much worse then that in college :) Plus I was so damn hungry I was happy to get something in my stomach!

Now the second one, the 3 hour test that junk was nasty. I was so damn tired too. I sat in the weighting room and I think dozed off a few times.

My dad helped Michael set up the crib and I just love it! I cant wait to see you in it.

 I am sleeping better but I am so hot.

You are 3.7 oz, 67% for growth.

28 Weeks Pregnant

I can tell my stomach is starting to stretch as it is very sensitive.

My emotions are back...

Dr. Moore showed me the hair on the back of your head and there is a lot already! The doctor said you will probably be a redhead or light haired. I cant wait to find out!

You really fattened up since we last saw you too!

27 Weeks Pregnant

legs cramping, sinus problems, did registry, got a little nervous thinking about no longer having free time but excited at the same time especially after picking things for the registry, I started dreaming about breastfeeding- luckily they have been good dreams so I am going into breastfeeding with a positive look

26 Weeks Pregnant

I am still not sleeping well! I am trying to keep posotive though and I keep telling myself that this is just my body training me for when the baby comes so going sleepless wont be so shocking! haha
The insomnia is bad though. If I am not laying in bed rstless then you can find me in the bathroom, peeing, again. Interestingly, once the sun comes out around six I pass out without waking up for 3-4 hours and it feels great.

I am super hot at night. I have the temp set at 68 and I still find no relief! Mike is freezing!

I woke up one morning and I had to bumps that felt like rocks one on each side of the top boob. I am not sure what that was about but it went away that day.

I have been feeling really bloated and realized haven't pottied in days!!!

You have been kicking my waist.

The day we saw you

We went into the ultrasound pretty scared. We hoped and prayed you would be in there happy, healthy and with a strong heartbeat. I tried to do a grounding meditation before I went in to make myself present and so that I wouldn't be thinking about the what ifs. It did help a little. But I was still nervous. It was that cold clammy nervousness mixed with the nervousness you get right before your first kiss!

The tech was conversational and I am thankful for that. When they first do the ultrasound you can see screen but you cant hear anything. I held my breath and just stared. You could see there was defiantly something there but because she didn't have the sound on I couldn't tell if there was a heartbeat. When she there was a strong heartbeat it was the biggest sigh of relief ever.

She then began taking measurements and was moving the thing around my stomach so I started talking to Mike. He kept teasing me about having twins! So I said, look Mike there IS only one in there after all! And before I could take another breath the tech said no theres not. And as I was saying what??? two little babies appeared on the screen.

It was the purest, happiest moment in my life.

The fear I had, the uncertainties all went away at that moment.

I started crying and laughing. My entirte body was consumed by this joy. I cant even describe the happiness I felt. I never experienced anything like it.

I don't really remember anything else from that appointment. I was in a trance of happiness.

Anytime I think back to that day, the day I saw you, the day I heard your heartbeats for the first time brings me to tears. I love you so much.

25 Weeks Pregnant

My boobs are out of control. I keep buying new bras but I outgrow them asap!

I am not sleeping well and I cant get in a deep sleep.

I started waking up about four times a night to pee.

You are getting big enough were you can see my entire stomach jump.

We went to the beach this week. I went one day alone and the water was so calm so I just kinda chilled and floated. A few days later we went to a different beach and it was way to rough- I didn't even get ankle deep because I wanted to keep you safe!

 While at the beach   Mike put his head on my stomach and you kicked him in the face! It was awesome.

24 Weeks Pregnant

I was starving on Sunday. I would be satisfied then out of no where boom it was like I never ate!

We bought your crib, and your Gigi bought you a ton of cute outfits.

boobs grew again, colostrum coming in

I saw you at the dr and u look like your dad.. insane inst it?

23 Weeks Pregnant

We met Gigi and Pop Pop in Alpharetta to look for cribs. It was a lot of fun. Of course Michael wanted dark wood and I wanted white! I gave in without a fight though.  There is something so much sturdier about varnished wood. While shopping I bought new clothes and I feel so much better! I also bought a swim suit and feel so cute! It was strange seeing how much more room I have left in my swim suit to grow and it made me a  little nervous about how big the bump
may get! I feel adorable right now! I'm not big but you know I am pregnant and my skin is the clearest its been in years.

Nesting is kicking in and I am making a list of to do before you come.

I saw u kick through my shirt Sunday night.

My feet swelled after work- they really hurt too. I am not sure if its from the weight gin or just pregnancy but I am getting a stool for work.

My dad came down and helped Mike clean out the garage this weekend- thank god!

I  wrote a list of things I want done before you come to try and entice your dad to get a move on things!

22 Weeks Pregnant

My neck and back are so close to going out! I think a big part of it is because I am doing so much lifting at work! Ugh! I had TWO prenatal massages to try and get things realized but it didn't hep that much. I am going to see how things go because there really isnt any point in working if I am spending what I make a week to get a massage.

I am still feeling emotional...

I love watching my stomach at night! If you wanted you can now see that one side of stomach is higher then the other at times. Oh, I had my hand on my stomach and literally felt an elbow drag across the palm of my hand! It was the craziest feeling ever!

21 Weeks Pregnant

Started 21 weeks really tired where Starbucks didn't even help! I am just starting to have people ask if I'm pregnant which is funny to me because i feel like Ive had a little bump forever :)

I took Ed to sweetwater and felt great! My legs felt heavy from hiking but I felt my heart rate increase and I just felt so damn good to get a little "cardio" in.

I am starting to nest.

My navel is widening!

I can see slight vibrations on my stomach but others probably wouldn't notice.

This week you were 1.1 oz. When I saw you, you had your feet up by your head and kept looking side to side, and hiccuped!

My weight is great!

I have ANOTHER kidney infection wth! so we are starting suppression therapy.

I saw Margo this week and it was awesome to catch up. We ate at some soup and sandwich shop in Buckhead although there was little eating just tons of talking!

I started looking at labor stretches.

I  started watching my stomach at night for kicks.

20 Weeks Pregnant

I felt the baby kick while my hand was on stomach!!!! Sleep is good!

I think the severe pain in kidney area is muscular so I am staying away from yard work which is killing me because I want to hank hill it with this beautiful weather. Despite not doing my normal outdoor work I am trying to sit on the porch and enjoy this weather!

I have started daydreaming about the baby!

I am having to roll out of bed! I cna no longer sit up and get out!

People are starting to notice the bump but say I don't look five months!

19 Weeks Pregnant

Def not in present moment. I am not mediating or anything and even if I were to try I am just not in the state of mind.

Symptoms-right kidney pain, leg cramps

I had a scary moment this week. I have been having severe kidney pain and I woke up in extreme pain and started barfing in the middle of the night. I was actually scared but remained cool and has Michael call the doctor.  I went to the doctor the next morning and he thinks I am having kidney stones! Oh joy! Lucky me though apparently kidney stones are suppose to hurt worse then birth if thats the truth then birth doesn't seem so bad after all!

I saw the baby and he looks great. He looked like total wild man and I really enjoyed watching him. Like every appointment I have had so far the extreme happiness is countered by sorrow. I found out that Alpha probably vanished this week although he could be behind Bravo and we just cant see him. But either way he is gone from our sight forever.

I am still having an extremely hard time with the loss. Honestly, finding out he vanished was just as heart wrenching as the day we found out he died. I guess now he really is gone.

I am crying probably once a week about him and usually on the way back from work in the car. I guess its because I have time to think... I am trying to keep my stuff together though and not cry in front of Mike so I sit in the car and compose myself before coming in. I don't want him to have to suffer more.

18

I am having a hard time emotionally. Every appointment they check both Bravo and Alpha and its getting really hard.

My boobs are still itching but luckily I dont see any stretch marks. I am making sure to put bio oil on twice a day. I am also having leg/joint pain. I am going to watch it but I may need to call the rheumi and get blood work.

I also started cleaning out the nursrey and it looks so different not having mikes things in there.

17 Weeks Pregnant

Baby Growth:
Average babies are weighing around 5 ounces but you are weighing 8! You are around the size of a turnip right now and you are around 5 inches long now and have working sweat glands.

My Symptoms:
I am continuing to have sinus problems although this week has been less severe. Mood swings are still in effect and I get reallllly annoyed fast! Oh, and my boobs started to itch, bad. I busted out the bio oil and I guess it helps. I am hoping its just from the hormones and not stretching going on.

Weight:
I am maintaining but I am a few pounds over the average.

Maternity Clothes:
I think I can still fit in most clothes but not comfortably. I bought  maternity clothes this week and I feel so much more confident and pretty! I also bought maternity underwear and I'm so much more comfortable! I guess I just got more junk in the trunk now!

Movement:
I felt movement for the first time! I was at work walking and I stopped dead in my tracks! I thought omg, is this a bad cramp ...then I thought nope, no pain here and then I realized what it was. It lasted only a minute and felt like a small wave. It was really exciting and I cant wait to feel more.

Sleep:
Still sucky.

Cravings:

I have been wanting hibachi!

Best Moment of the Week:

We had your anatomy scan this week! You are defiantly a boy! The first thing we saw when the ultra sound came up was the money shot! We saw you stretched out, curl in a ball, and even roll! You played around with tech which was really cool. She loved you and took like 20 pics of you. You also discovered a certain body part and the tech thought this was hysterical. Your dad and I just kept our mouths shut. The tech She took about ten photos of you doing this ... Sorry kid :)

Goals for this Week:

Stay busy!

Belly Pictures:

16 Weeks Pregnant

My Symptoms:
This week has been rough. I have been extremely moody and emotional. I broke down several times over our loss and actually hyper ventilated at one point. There's really nothing else to say...

Weight:
The jump happened im 170-173 so about 12-15 pounds up

Gender:
Sweet baby boy!

Movement:
none and im dying to feel it!

Sleep:
Still not sleeping

Cravings:
None

What I miss:
Cardio!

Questions/Concerns:
I actually left work early because I thought I was leaking! I went into the dresing room and hid to call my doctor!  Luckily, it was nothing and I got checked by my doctor at 17 wks and my amniotic fluid was fine. Time to start kegels!

Goals for this Week:
Be busy and productive

Weeks 14 and 15 Pregnant

Yikes! Well, I fell behind! So this post is a mix of weeks 14 and 15!


Baby Growth: Bravo is now about 4 inches long and the size of an apple. He or she is weighing in at about 2 oz and can sense light (if we put a flashlight up to my belly Bravo would move away from it!). 

Belly Picture:
Here is my belly pic at 15 weeks.

My Symptoms:

14/15 God awful headaches, sinus problems, insomnia and dry lips. I couldn't find any relief from any of these things. One night when it was mild and I was up at 3 , I "surrendered" and tried a mediation/body scan to help with  my headache and that seemed to help a bit. But for the most part I have been in so much pain I couldn't focus long enough to meditate.

Week 15- My sinus pain was off the chain at week and I got dry lips! I've never had them and OMG, whats that about they are swollen, cracked and bleeding. Its so strange and so painful!

Week 14/15 I am now routinely waking up at 3 and going back to sleep at 6 then waking up around 9. I am not getting in my rem cycle and I can feel it.

End of Week 15- I started getting really emotional and moody. I have to watch because the word vomit came out a few times and I don't want to become that "person."


Weight:

Its been the same the past two weeks. Although I noticed my face is getting rounder! But I know I will defiantly be gaining because of all the junk I've been eating. {I don't want to do anything when my head hurts and i'm tired.)

Gender:

Sweet baby boy!

Movement:

Well, I haven't felt you yet but we saw you at 15 weeks. You were opening and closing your mouth and you had your arms over your head. It was precious.

Sleep:

Whats that?

Cravings:
None but this was the first time I wish I could have a beer or glass of wine! I was laying on the couch and thought a glass of wine would be so nice and relaxing. But I resisted :)

What I miss:
Running. When I feel moody or tired I always could count on running for a pick me up and its been hard not doing it when I so desperately crave it. The weather has been amazing too and man I want to hit the trails.

Questions/Concerns:
None right now. I did call the doctor for headache advice but it didn't really do much.

Goals for this Week:
Self care. I am going to really up the sleep hygiene and work on getting back in the grove.

13 Weeks Pregnant

Baby Growth: This week Bravo's fingertips have fingerprints, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. He is the size of a pea pod!

Symptoms: Headaches and exhaustion. The headaches have been fierce this week and tynol is not helping. I also haven't been sleeping. I lay in bed for some time but don't fall asleep till at least 11. And then I am also consistently waking up around 3am and don't fall back asleep until 6:30. Im tired... Last night I lit candles, meditated and put the phone down but it didn't work. I may mention this at the next appointment.

Weight: same!!

Gender: Well, I still don't know but we picked up the envelope with our babys gender in it. They actually called to tell me the baby's test results were great and she asked if I wanted to know the sex. It was so hard to say no! It was even harder to pick up that envelope yesterday! I made sure the nurse picked it up and made sure I couldn't see through the envelope! I also had to put the envelope in my glove compartment- I couldn't risk any chances!

Maternity Clothes: We bought two shirts and some black pants last weekend! It was really exciting and we had a great time picking out things. I didn't go crazy though because its so hard to imagine buying clothes knowing you are going to get bigger! This is a first!

Movement:  I went to my new ob last Thursday so technically I was 12 weeks 6 days but anyway he was awesome and impowering. I was able to watch the baby and my gosh- such a sweet little thing. He had his leg stretched and then curled it in. It was amazing- and still is! I cant stop watching it!

Sleep:  sleep whats that?

Cravings: Nothing!

What I Miss: Still miss running! I just want to get out and hit the trails in this weather!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Seeing how close Michael and I have gotten over the past five years and how much we have grown as a couple. Also, I told my grandparents we were expecting and it my heart felt so much love when I told my grandmother.

Questions/Concerns: I was reading a blog and I really hope my doctors are gentle with the lady oparts when the time comes! It really freaks me out!

Goals for this Week: Find my calm.

Belly Pictures:

12 Weeks Pregnant

Here's a recap of my 12 weeks!

Baby Growth: This week Bravo is developing reflexes and can open and close his or her fingers! Bravo is roughly 2 inches long (size of a lime) and weighs half of an ounce.

Symptoms: Nothing! Thank the lord! I feel normal again! The only thing I have noticed is when I get tired I literally feel sick now. Sleep is not an option! Also, if I am on my feet to long they kill. But other then that I feel normal again.

Weight: I've gained 8 pounds! BUT  I had gained that amount by 2 months and since then I haven't gained anymore. The doctor said my weight is perfect.

Gender: I still think a boy! Michael is now thinking a girl! Shelba, Ron and my mom think boy!

Maternity Clothes: Not yet but soon. My "fat girl" dress pants barely fit and no lie, the buttons on my size 8 pants flew off 2 weeks ago.

Movement: I don't feel anything yet but we saw sweet baby K swaying at our last appointment. We also saw him try to flip but with little success :)

Sleep: I feel tired all the time. If I don't rest I will feel sick and pay for it the next day. I have also been waking up at 3 every night... I don't know what that's about.

Cravings: Luckily they have calmed down. I am not really craving anything in particular. I still can't tolerate ground beef, and/or tomato sauce...my old favorites.

What I Miss: Running! I've been seeing friends talking about mileage on fb and I've gotten so jealous!

Best Pregnancy Moment of the Week: Seeing baby K healthy at our ultra sound. Telling Shelba and Ron about baby K.

Questions/Concerns: I am really curious about how to prepare my body for birth.

Goals for this Week: Work on getting back in a routine. This being tired thing has really messed things up. Keep up with my chores- our house isn't bad but its not up my normal cleaning standards :) Also, laundry. I've been too tired to fold clothes so there are piles everywhere- ew!

Belly Pictures: