Today we hard core partied kid. Well, sort of. By party I mean no Naps! We went to run errands and then I whisked you away to the library for a drumming demonstration. I felt kind of bad because you passed out in the car on our way over which is all of 5 minutes away. But I figured this is a good experience and you can nap after it :)
FYI kiddo, if you cried or looked miserable we would have left. I'm not that hardcore.
When we got there the library was packed! Tons of kiddos. We have been to several actual events now and this was definitely the biggest one. I wasn't sure how you were going to act at first because you laid in my lap and took a snack bottle!
Even though you were tired and not your complete self you did engage with some kids that just adored you and of course you ate it up :)
Anywho, you had a blast. It amazes me how attentive you already are. You totally rocked out on the maraca and a tambourine. People around us kept turning around to look at you because you were that damn cute!
and without rehashing what we learned and all of the drums we saw...thats basically it haha I just wanted to write this down so maybe one day it will help trigger a fun memory or you know, if you become some famous musician we can refer back to this and say where it all started. Either way works...
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Meeting Twins
Today was the first time me and Charlie were confronted by twins. We were at the drum show at the library and a little boy and girl just started talking and loving on charlie. It took a minute for me to realize and then I asked... With pride the mother said yes while the two little ones grinned back at me.
My heart stopped.
I think it will be like this for the rest of my life.
For just a few minutes or maybe it wasnt even minutes maybe it was seconds but whatever amount of time it was a million little thoughts filled my head and played out in my mind. Me with two babies in my lap. Me and two babies taking the world in. The three of us playing with the other twins. Me grinning back and saying they are twins too!
When she said they were twins I had such a strong urge to say so is he! (with happiness and excitement). But I cant do that, can I?
There is two sides of twin grief. Part of me is so excited to say I have twins! I'm part of the club!
...While the other side mourns the loss. There is an indescribable happiness and sorrow with the loss of a twin. Some days I want to cry thinking about Gabe and Charlie while others I am sooooo thankful to have experienced that joy. While today I felt both emotions.
The grief and the what ifs went away just about as fast as they came and I went right back to what I was doing. No one probably even noticed anything. In fact, I was smiling and playing with the children while all this was going on in my head ...and my heart.
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| https://www.etsy.com/listing/194534334/loss-of-one-twin-art-download-girl-twins |
Monday, June 19, 2017
5/18/17
Feeding yourself doodles and puffs started loving on things soft holding it to u and sucking your thumb
(Found this in drafts! I guess a post I started but never followed up on- either way worthy of posting : for reference )
(Found this in drafts! I guess a post I started but never followed up on- either way worthy of posting : for reference )
The week of your birth
I had the urge to nest bad. There was so much to be done. Your dad finally took off Wednesday to help "finish" your room.
We went to the dr and thought I was leaking but nope, still 3 cm. I was a bit upset that were wasn't any movement.
I was able to see you twice this week once on Wednesday and then on Thursday! I really thought you would be a 9/1 baby then in the middle of the night Friday (the 2nd) I had bad cramps. Around an hour later I realized there was a start and end to them! I laid in bed and started tracking them- I heard your dad on the computer but I stayed quiet in case it was nothing- 45 minutes in he walked in and I realized I was def contracting so we called the dr and headed in.
It was perfect timing we left at four and got there around five and best traffic! Tg! I was brought into to l and d fast. I was afraid they were going to send me home I was still only 3 cm but I was having consistent contractions and 80% effaced. I think the process of getting checked in by the nurses took the longest which wasn't even long. I remember having the urge to poop and vomit along with the pain and all the wires attached made it hard to focus on breathing through. Before I knew it the anesthesiologist was there with the epidural I really thought they were going to make me labor through it before giving it to me. The epidural was scary and I was afraid I would tense up during a contraction but I didn't. I did throw up though...
The epidural gave relief fast and I felt like myself if not better. I wiggled my toes as much as I could because I was afraid of losing feeling. Dr Moore came into break my water. It didn't hurt if anything I think it felt good? Maybe less pressure. At that time we realized you had your first bowel movement so they had to drain me. Honestly I think the epidural helped the most because you didn't realize you were all open and not lady like. If I could feel what was going on down there I think I would naturally be tensed up and uncomfortable.
They started the pitocin and told us to take a nap but before that could happen I felt pressure and the need to push so we called them in there and believe it or not it was time. I had a strange wow this is happening moment as they were getting me in position. Everything just slowed down and there was peace and silence in that one second.
The pushing wasn't bad. I did realize I was pushing my feet into their arms and I realized I was doing the opposite of what I needed. I also thought of all the things I read where women pushed then went weak at the end so the head went back in so at the end of each push I pushed harder! They felt your head fast and within 45 minutes you were here. I didn't feel any pain when you came out I actually thought you came out earlier. I'm not sure what I saw! For some reason that final push is something I can't stop thinking about one minute you're in me the next right here.
They plopped you on my chest for a second then whisked you away to be checked. I don't remember much about me getting fixed but I do remember you. After your bath they were going to bring you to me but I said let your daddy hold you first. He was by you the entire time. Then they brought you to me...
We went to the dr and thought I was leaking but nope, still 3 cm. I was a bit upset that were wasn't any movement.
I was able to see you twice this week once on Wednesday and then on Thursday! I really thought you would be a 9/1 baby then in the middle of the night Friday (the 2nd) I had bad cramps. Around an hour later I realized there was a start and end to them! I laid in bed and started tracking them- I heard your dad on the computer but I stayed quiet in case it was nothing- 45 minutes in he walked in and I realized I was def contracting so we called the dr and headed in.
It was perfect timing we left at four and got there around five and best traffic! Tg! I was brought into to l and d fast. I was afraid they were going to send me home I was still only 3 cm but I was having consistent contractions and 80% effaced. I think the process of getting checked in by the nurses took the longest which wasn't even long. I remember having the urge to poop and vomit along with the pain and all the wires attached made it hard to focus on breathing through. Before I knew it the anesthesiologist was there with the epidural I really thought they were going to make me labor through it before giving it to me. The epidural was scary and I was afraid I would tense up during a contraction but I didn't. I did throw up though...
The epidural gave relief fast and I felt like myself if not better. I wiggled my toes as much as I could because I was afraid of losing feeling. Dr Moore came into break my water. It didn't hurt if anything I think it felt good? Maybe less pressure. At that time we realized you had your first bowel movement so they had to drain me. Honestly I think the epidural helped the most because you didn't realize you were all open and not lady like. If I could feel what was going on down there I think I would naturally be tensed up and uncomfortable.
They started the pitocin and told us to take a nap but before that could happen I felt pressure and the need to push so we called them in there and believe it or not it was time. I had a strange wow this is happening moment as they were getting me in position. Everything just slowed down and there was peace and silence in that one second.
The pushing wasn't bad. I did realize I was pushing my feet into their arms and I realized I was doing the opposite of what I needed. I also thought of all the things I read where women pushed then went weak at the end so the head went back in so at the end of each push I pushed harder! They felt your head fast and within 45 minutes you were here. I didn't feel any pain when you came out I actually thought you came out earlier. I'm not sure what I saw! For some reason that final push is something I can't stop thinking about one minute you're in me the next right here.
They plopped you on my chest for a second then whisked you away to be checked. I don't remember much about me getting fixed but I do remember you. After your bath they were going to bring you to me but I said let your daddy hold you first. He was by you the entire time. Then they brought you to me...
feb 17-24
feb 17-24
you are on all fours and bouncing front to back! you are getting ready to crawl! you look like you are doing an irish jig in your bouncer!
you are on all fours and bouncing front to back! you are getting ready to crawl! you look like you are doing an irish jig in your bouncer!
6/19
So today is the 19th of June. We have done a lot this month and I figured I would go ahead and get it all down!
You had your fist hair cut! It was past your eyes. I couldn't believe how long it got. You were fabulous and just sat there looking around while she cut. The stylist next to us said she actually forgot a baby was getting a cut. You were great and looked so adorable sitting there. Your hair cute has got me all goggley eyed because it is that cute on you. You look like little boy and not a baby anymore!
You went on your first vacation. You did well in the car. You did whine some but I would too if I had your energy and was stuck inside.
On our way we stopped to eat and you were so interested in what others were doing. You were completely turned around to watch the action. After the drive we went to the beach to let you see it for the first time. You were def more interested in the sand but it was still fun!
The first day we were there it rained! So that morning I took you to the aviation museum. It was packed because it was rainy so we didn't get to play at the kiddie hawk playground which is what I wanted :) But we did get to check out some bad ass planes. Any plane they had out to sit in I put you in. Even though you dont know whats going on I want you to experience as much as possible! Im hoping these great experiences will just add to what I hope is a fabulous life little one.
You enjoyed sitting in the planes! You were intrigued and wanted to pull and touch everything! You saw Nixon's helicopter, the one were he waves good bye. I figured I would let you know that in case you become a history buff like me. You saw a lot and didn't show any sign of being bored the entire time we were there. Seriously, you were great. Even though I didn't read any of the plaques it was so much fun to walk around with you and watch you discover new things.
After the museum we went to a pub. Oh my gosh they had the best meatloaf. You devoured it. Again, you sat at the table looking at everyone, eating your meatloaf and not one peep! Afterwards you fell asleep in the car (it took all of 2 minutes). I was going to let you take a nap but at this point it was sunny out and I said screw it we are going to the beach. We were there only 30 minutes or so and you enjoyed every minute of it.
Your dad took a day off so we could all go to the beach together. You were OK with looking at the water but you were scared if we put you near it and waves came. I cant wait to go back with all of your cousins. One thing is for sure, I want to go to calm beaches. Even though the water was by no means rough there was no way I was taking you out there. Hopefully, next beach it will be crystal clear and lake like.
Today we went to the kid social hour at the library. There weren't that many kids but there were enough to keep your attention. You loved the balls they had out and chased them around, and then just watched other kids. I love watching you interact and observe other kids! Tomorrow I plan on taking you to baby story time!
Eating, eating is better. You have been interested in the packs where you squeeze out the pure. You are still a cheerio fan. Oh, you just learned how to use your snack cup although you sure twirl your hand in it a lot before puling out anything.
Anytime you see me eating you come right over with a big grin and want to try what I have! This too has been fun although at dinner time I just want to eat!
You are standing up randomly and alone! You can walk if you just someones hand. Its adorable!
Im so tired right now but Ill right more later! I was just looking back at old posts at it goes from 38 weeks pregnant to 2 weeks old! Haha oh well. I think I may try to jot some things down so I dont forget them about your birth!
You had your fist hair cut! It was past your eyes. I couldn't believe how long it got. You were fabulous and just sat there looking around while she cut. The stylist next to us said she actually forgot a baby was getting a cut. You were great and looked so adorable sitting there. Your hair cute has got me all goggley eyed because it is that cute on you. You look like little boy and not a baby anymore!
You went on your first vacation. You did well in the car. You did whine some but I would too if I had your energy and was stuck inside.
On our way we stopped to eat and you were so interested in what others were doing. You were completely turned around to watch the action. After the drive we went to the beach to let you see it for the first time. You were def more interested in the sand but it was still fun!
The first day we were there it rained! So that morning I took you to the aviation museum. It was packed because it was rainy so we didn't get to play at the kiddie hawk playground which is what I wanted :) But we did get to check out some bad ass planes. Any plane they had out to sit in I put you in. Even though you dont know whats going on I want you to experience as much as possible! Im hoping these great experiences will just add to what I hope is a fabulous life little one.
You enjoyed sitting in the planes! You were intrigued and wanted to pull and touch everything! You saw Nixon's helicopter, the one were he waves good bye. I figured I would let you know that in case you become a history buff like me. You saw a lot and didn't show any sign of being bored the entire time we were there. Seriously, you were great. Even though I didn't read any of the plaques it was so much fun to walk around with you and watch you discover new things.
After the museum we went to a pub. Oh my gosh they had the best meatloaf. You devoured it. Again, you sat at the table looking at everyone, eating your meatloaf and not one peep! Afterwards you fell asleep in the car (it took all of 2 minutes). I was going to let you take a nap but at this point it was sunny out and I said screw it we are going to the beach. We were there only 30 minutes or so and you enjoyed every minute of it.
Your dad took a day off so we could all go to the beach together. You were OK with looking at the water but you were scared if we put you near it and waves came. I cant wait to go back with all of your cousins. One thing is for sure, I want to go to calm beaches. Even though the water was by no means rough there was no way I was taking you out there. Hopefully, next beach it will be crystal clear and lake like.
Today we went to the kid social hour at the library. There weren't that many kids but there were enough to keep your attention. You loved the balls they had out and chased them around, and then just watched other kids. I love watching you interact and observe other kids! Tomorrow I plan on taking you to baby story time!
Eating, eating is better. You have been interested in the packs where you squeeze out the pure. You are still a cheerio fan. Oh, you just learned how to use your snack cup although you sure twirl your hand in it a lot before puling out anything.
Anytime you see me eating you come right over with a big grin and want to try what I have! This too has been fun although at dinner time I just want to eat!
You are standing up randomly and alone! You can walk if you just someones hand. Its adorable!
Im so tired right now but Ill right more later! I was just looking back at old posts at it goes from 38 weeks pregnant to 2 weeks old! Haha oh well. I think I may try to jot some things down so I dont forget them about your birth!
Friday, June 9, 2017
9 Months
Time slow down! Hey little boy you just turned 9 months. This month has been the best yet.
Your little personality comes out more and more each day.
At 9 months you have 6 teeth and just broke your 7th. You just started using your push cart and love walking with it. Its so funny to see because you are so petite and there you are walking! You like other people! I have taken you to events and you go right up to other kids wanting them to play.
I took you to the GiGi's this week and she had a dinner party. We had you seated at the table with us in your high chair and it was as though you were one of us! You laughed when we laughed, you were full of emotion. It was amazing. Seriously it was as though you knew exactly what was going on!
I also took you to baby story time! You did great and went right up to other kids. They of course were shy but you showed no fear and I loved it! You definitely liked story time and I cant wait to take you again.
We have also gone swimming! You love it. You actually let me lay you on your back and let me kick your legs for you. We have gone several times now and we stayed for an hour the other day. After swimming I bundled you up and fed you snacks and you just sat there eating and looking around.
You saw the ENT last week and things look good but he still wants us to continue prilosec. We will visit him again when you turn a year!
Eating. Eating has been very frustrating. You were doing wonderful eating then this past week it has been a major struggle! I feel like you I did when you had reflux and wouldn't/couldn't eat. Its very stressful and I am hoping its only because of that new tooth. Otherwise you are taking your bottle fine and have taken up to 12oz at time.
I am not sure what your favorite food is right now. You have had waffles, pancakes, breakfast sausage, sweet potato, baked potato, green beans, chicken, and meatloaf so far. I think its still a little to early for green beans and maybe waffles,
You will be going to Florida this week! Your dad is going on a business trip and we will be joining him. Im excited you will be joining me for an adventure! I hope we have fun! When we get back me and your dad will be taking you to the firehouse next week for story time. We are excited!
Your little personality comes out more and more each day.
At 9 months you have 6 teeth and just broke your 7th. You just started using your push cart and love walking with it. Its so funny to see because you are so petite and there you are walking! You like other people! I have taken you to events and you go right up to other kids wanting them to play.
I took you to the GiGi's this week and she had a dinner party. We had you seated at the table with us in your high chair and it was as though you were one of us! You laughed when we laughed, you were full of emotion. It was amazing. Seriously it was as though you knew exactly what was going on!
I also took you to baby story time! You did great and went right up to other kids. They of course were shy but you showed no fear and I loved it! You definitely liked story time and I cant wait to take you again.
We have also gone swimming! You love it. You actually let me lay you on your back and let me kick your legs for you. We have gone several times now and we stayed for an hour the other day. After swimming I bundled you up and fed you snacks and you just sat there eating and looking around.
You saw the ENT last week and things look good but he still wants us to continue prilosec. We will visit him again when you turn a year!
Eating. Eating has been very frustrating. You were doing wonderful eating then this past week it has been a major struggle! I feel like you I did when you had reflux and wouldn't/couldn't eat. Its very stressful and I am hoping its only because of that new tooth. Otherwise you are taking your bottle fine and have taken up to 12oz at time.
I am not sure what your favorite food is right now. You have had waffles, pancakes, breakfast sausage, sweet potato, baked potato, green beans, chicken, and meatloaf so far. I think its still a little to early for green beans and maybe waffles,
You will be going to Florida this week! Your dad is going on a business trip and we will be joining him. Im excited you will be joining me for an adventure! I hope we have fun! When we get back me and your dad will be taking you to the firehouse next week for story time. We are excited!
Thursday, May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017
Charlie you are amazing! You bring light into this world! You are such a happy baby.
You have SIX teeth and the cutest little gap between the top two. Don't worry we will get you braces when you are older but right know, that toothy grin, swoon.
You are going to be walking soon. You love standing up. You grab onto everything and pull up. You really have taken to your Dad this month and smile big when he comes home. You have said Da Da a few times for some reason the very most in the morning...maybe you are wondering where he is?
You also like Eddie! You will tap your hand just like we do to get Eddie to come and its so cute. You arent saying Eddie, yet but you are saying EH HH. You hear the E and you can tell you are pronouncing two syllables and you are always looking at Ed and taping your hand when you do it. Genius :)
This past Monday we put you in your own room. You kept waking up at 2 and after a small feeding would go to sleep with us. Well I love it and all but you wanted to do it every night. And that just cant happen. Per Dr. Shore you needed to go into your own room. Man, it sucked. I was in bed and I literally missed you! I mean you were one room over and I missed you!
You slept great and are still going strong in your own bed. Im wondering if we were doing something to wake you up at 2. Snoring, movement, who knows.
You love water and your nuk cup your GiGi bought you. You love your little icepops too. You are eating 3 meals a day plus bottles. You are eating everything now but your favorites at first were veggies. You are just now getting into fruits.
I tried giving you puffs yesterday and today and you had no interest eating them but had a great time playing with them.
Your hair is LONG! Your side burns are halfway passed your ear and if your bangs arent brushed over they go into your eyes. Your hair is so pretty and I love when you let me brush it with my hand.
You started getting some separation anxiety which is common at this age. It is the saddest thing though! Oh and stranger danger is real! You were in the kitchen playing and me and the counter guys were coming in, I followed behind them and you flipped. We were also at the store and when your dad stepped aside for a second to pay for something you flipped when you couldn't see him. I was actually an ilse over when I heard you and came running over. It was kind of funny. A stylish 30 something guy was trying to consul you- like your daddy is right there little guy its ok.
I took you to the park. When we went to cauble i let you crawl around. You were very interested in the bark on the ground lol. But you did run around and when you saw another baby you would crawl up to check him out. We also went to Swift Cantrell. Its an awesome park. There were too many kids to let you go wild but you still had a good time.
We just booked the hotel and you will be coming to Pensacola with us. Your dad has a business trip so you and I will go check things out! It will be strange having a little buddy with me! Im used to exploring on my own!
I noticed the past two days you got annoyed with eddie. I think he tried to lick your icepop or something and i saw you shove your arm away from him with annoyance. It was funny. Speaking of Eddie you DART to his bowls. You LOVE splashing his water and you like putting both hands into his food bowl and swirling the kibble around. Poor ed must be starving because we have to keep everything up away from you. HAHA
You love your jumper still. Although you arent jumping as much. Each day we go sit on the porch and I put you in it. You have started to just chill in it and lounge. Its cute. I need to get you a rocking chair I was told you wont sit in it but i dont know you have some chill moments.
You really are the sweetest little thing. I have so much fun with you and I am so proud of you. You are the greatest treasure. Everyday is something new and we are already thinking of your FIRST birthday! How is that even possible?
You have SIX teeth and the cutest little gap between the top two. Don't worry we will get you braces when you are older but right know, that toothy grin, swoon.
You are going to be walking soon. You love standing up. You grab onto everything and pull up. You really have taken to your Dad this month and smile big when he comes home. You have said Da Da a few times for some reason the very most in the morning...maybe you are wondering where he is?
You also like Eddie! You will tap your hand just like we do to get Eddie to come and its so cute. You arent saying Eddie, yet but you are saying EH HH. You hear the E and you can tell you are pronouncing two syllables and you are always looking at Ed and taping your hand when you do it. Genius :)
This past Monday we put you in your own room. You kept waking up at 2 and after a small feeding would go to sleep with us. Well I love it and all but you wanted to do it every night. And that just cant happen. Per Dr. Shore you needed to go into your own room. Man, it sucked. I was in bed and I literally missed you! I mean you were one room over and I missed you!
You slept great and are still going strong in your own bed. Im wondering if we were doing something to wake you up at 2. Snoring, movement, who knows.
You love water and your nuk cup your GiGi bought you. You love your little icepops too. You are eating 3 meals a day plus bottles. You are eating everything now but your favorites at first were veggies. You are just now getting into fruits.
I tried giving you puffs yesterday and today and you had no interest eating them but had a great time playing with them.
Your hair is LONG! Your side burns are halfway passed your ear and if your bangs arent brushed over they go into your eyes. Your hair is so pretty and I love when you let me brush it with my hand.
You started getting some separation anxiety which is common at this age. It is the saddest thing though! Oh and stranger danger is real! You were in the kitchen playing and me and the counter guys were coming in, I followed behind them and you flipped. We were also at the store and when your dad stepped aside for a second to pay for something you flipped when you couldn't see him. I was actually an ilse over when I heard you and came running over. It was kind of funny. A stylish 30 something guy was trying to consul you- like your daddy is right there little guy its ok.
I took you to the park. When we went to cauble i let you crawl around. You were very interested in the bark on the ground lol. But you did run around and when you saw another baby you would crawl up to check him out. We also went to Swift Cantrell. Its an awesome park. There were too many kids to let you go wild but you still had a good time.
We just booked the hotel and you will be coming to Pensacola with us. Your dad has a business trip so you and I will go check things out! It will be strange having a little buddy with me! Im used to exploring on my own!
I noticed the past two days you got annoyed with eddie. I think he tried to lick your icepop or something and i saw you shove your arm away from him with annoyance. It was funny. Speaking of Eddie you DART to his bowls. You LOVE splashing his water and you like putting both hands into his food bowl and swirling the kibble around. Poor ed must be starving because we have to keep everything up away from you. HAHA
You love your jumper still. Although you arent jumping as much. Each day we go sit on the porch and I put you in it. You have started to just chill in it and lounge. Its cute. I need to get you a rocking chair I was told you wont sit in it but i dont know you have some chill moments.
You really are the sweetest little thing. I have so much fun with you and I am so proud of you. You are the greatest treasure. Everyday is something new and we are already thinking of your FIRST birthday! How is that even possible?
Emotional-5/11
I hear myself saying it should have been two!
I should have had two!
I should have two for mothers day!
I should have left with two!
There should have, there should be, there should have!
and one of my favorites I should have told them sooner...
I think one of the saddest thing aside from the actual loss was how everyone was told. That, they didn't get to experience that tear inducing, heart exploding, knees shaking excitement.
I was so excited for weeks about telling them. I played it out in my head a million times yet it never crossed my mind that it wouldn't happen.
It still kills me that we didn't get to share those beautiful, exciting raw emotions. Literally half of the pregnancy was kept a secret from the world we all had to bare.
This is something that I have not found peace in yet.
I wish with all my heart I shared that time with the people I love.
I wish I screamed it from the roof tops because it was.that.damn.wonderful.
How can someone carry two babies in their stomach and yet no one even know?
I feel like one of the best moments of my life is a secret and it sucks.
I should have had two!
I should have two for mothers day!
I should have left with two!
There should have, there should be, there should have!
and one of my favorites I should have told them sooner...
I think one of the saddest thing aside from the actual loss was how everyone was told. That, they didn't get to experience that tear inducing, heart exploding, knees shaking excitement.
I was so excited for weeks about telling them. I played it out in my head a million times yet it never crossed my mind that it wouldn't happen.
It still kills me that we didn't get to share those beautiful, exciting raw emotions. Literally half of the pregnancy was kept a secret from the world we all had to bare.
This is something that I have not found peace in yet.
I wish with all my heart I shared that time with the people I love.
I wish I screamed it from the roof tops because it was.that.damn.wonderful.
How can someone carry two babies in their stomach and yet no one even know?
I feel like one of the best moments of my life is a secret and it sucks.
Monday, February 13, 2017
February 3-10
Happy boy. You slept 8-930! That day we shopped for houses and you were fabulous! You went to your first to a super bowl party and you were great there too. And apparently all that excitement wore you out because you slept almost 12 hours with just two dream feeds!
The great sleep in continuing on! Its 9:00 here on a Thursday and you are still out!
You are giggling a lot and we LOVE IT. Its so precious baby!
You are definitely a mommys boy but this week you have really taken to your dad and you have started smiling soon as you see him.
February 3-10
The great sleep in continuing on! Its 9:00 here on a Thursday and you are still out!
You are giggling a lot and we LOVE IT. Its so precious baby!
You are definitely a mommys boy but this week you have really taken to your dad and you have started smiling soon as you see him.
February 3-10
22 Weeks
February 3-10
Hey Kid! I am so confused by how many weeks you are right now. Haha. I am going to start writing down the actual dates so I don't mess things up. Oh well. So this week is a blur.
On Sunday we looked for houses and you were fabulous! You went to your first to a super bowl party and you were great there too. And apparently all that excitement wore you out because you slept almost 12 hours with just two dream feeds!
The great sleep in continuing on! You are sleeping till 9! I am not going to jinx it though. I know you were once on a schedule then boom you threw me a curve ball and mixed it all up. Its awesome though you. I totally don't mind having time to get ready and have a cup of coffee before having to hit the ground running :) You are still getting 1 or 2 dream feeds a night. You are rolling everywhere while you sleep! You prefer to sleep on your stomach like I do or on your side curled up near the corner of your crib. We are going to have to lower your pack and play soon because you are stretching your neck and body to look over it!
On Monday we went under contract on your first home. I am happy it sold so fast because having to put all your toys up and dash out of the house sure made me break out in a sweat.
You love your left foot. You play with it, suck on it and spend a lot of time with it :) Your left sock doesn't have a chance.
Each week just gets better and better. We love watching you grow and look forward to every day with you!
Hey Kid! I am so confused by how many weeks you are right now. Haha. I am going to start writing down the actual dates so I don't mess things up. Oh well. So this week is a blur.
On Sunday we looked for houses and you were fabulous! You went to your first to a super bowl party and you were great there too. And apparently all that excitement wore you out because you slept almost 12 hours with just two dream feeds!
The great sleep in continuing on! You are sleeping till 9! I am not going to jinx it though. I know you were once on a schedule then boom you threw me a curve ball and mixed it all up. Its awesome though you. I totally don't mind having time to get ready and have a cup of coffee before having to hit the ground running :) You are still getting 1 or 2 dream feeds a night. You are rolling everywhere while you sleep! You prefer to sleep on your stomach like I do or on your side curled up near the corner of your crib. We are going to have to lower your pack and play soon because you are stretching your neck and body to look over it!
On Monday we went under contract on your first home. I am happy it sold so fast because having to put all your toys up and dash out of the house sure made me break out in a sweat.
You are definitely becoming a big boy. This is the first week I saw you really try to sit up on your own. It amazes me that your little mind has such instincts in it
We tried feeding you this week too. We gave you rice cereal and you were not impressed to say the least. We didn't push it. I put some on your tray to let you play with it and explore but you had no interest. You did like your spoon though which we let you have to test out.
You are still a mommys boy but this week you have really taken to your dad and you have started smiling and getting excited as soon as you see him.
Each week just gets better and better. We love watching you grow and look forward to every day with you!
One year
I can't believe it's been one year. It doesn't feel like any time has passed. I was sitting on the couch drinking coffee this morning when I found myself thinking how excited about the life we were going to have with two, unaware what was to come in that silent room. It's crazy to think that is even possible. Literally everything changed in a matter of seconds.
I thought about it and I wanted us to be happy as a family today. I didn't want it to be a day of mourning but rather a day of love and remembrance.
I did get a little emotional buying the flowers and balloons at the store. It came out of no where as does grief. Overall though I felt calm and peaceful.
I wasn't sure about the flowers. I was actually kicking myself for not making something out of them before we released them. But luckily the flowers didn't need any help in looking beautiful.
They looked so beautiful. Michael threw his flower in first and that big yellow flower bounced on the water and began to slowly drift away. Then I placed mine in. I was afraid they would be washed ashore or pushed into a nook but they didn't. They floated together minus the first one I placed in the water, he stayed right where I put it.
The flowers reminded me of the lotus flower and its story.
I know no one besides us remembered yesterday or at least no one talked to us about it. I guess thats how it goes with miscarriages. But we will always remember. There is no shame in love. Ours is unconditional and we are so grateful for the happiness we experienced even if was only a short time. And we our grateful that we can love this way.
I thought about it and I wanted us to be happy as a family today. I didn't want it to be a day of mourning but rather a day of love and remembrance.
I did get a little emotional buying the flowers and balloons at the store. It came out of no where as does grief. Overall though I felt calm and peaceful.
I wasn't sure about the flowers. I was actually kicking myself for not making something out of them before we released them. But luckily the flowers didn't need any help in looking beautiful.
They looked so beautiful. Michael threw his flower in first and that big yellow flower bounced on the water and began to slowly drift away. Then I placed mine in. I was afraid they would be washed ashore or pushed into a nook but they didn't. They floated together minus the first one I placed in the water, he stayed right where I put it.
The flowers reminded me of the lotus flower and its story.
In case you weren't aware in Buddhism..
"The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is exactly how a lotus flower grows. Lotus flowers grow directly out of muddy and murky waters and produce beautiful white and pink blossoms."
I found this to be a very peaceful experience. I was not really thinking about anything. I was just there, in the present moment. I didn't have to force it. It just happened.
After the flowers we went to release the balloons. As we were walking to release the balloons Mikes popped. It worked out just fine because I that moment Charlie grabbed the string to my balloon and I decided we should let Charlie release the balloon himself. 
I know no one besides us remembered yesterday or at least no one talked to us about it. I guess thats how it goes with miscarriages. But we will always remember. There is no shame in love. Ours is unconditional and we are so grateful for the happiness we experienced even if was only a short time. And we our grateful that we can love this way.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
14 Weeks
So Mommy went to the support group.
I cried soon as I saw them...
When I heard a of their few stories I started to cry because my pain is not comparable but I was reassured my feelings are very real. It felt good and I left feeling more at peace then I have the entire year. I will definitely be staying in touch with them. I am so happy I found them...
We went to Belks this week and saw some of Mommy's friends. As always you were adorable and soaked up the attention.
I cried soon as I saw them...
When I heard a of their few stories I started to cry because my pain is not comparable but I was reassured my feelings are very real. It felt good and I left feeling more at peace then I have the entire year. I will definitely be staying in touch with them. I am so happy I found them...
We went to Belks this week and saw some of Mommy's friends. As always you were adorable and soaked up the attention.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
19 weeks
I don't even know how many weeks you are little guy! Things are going so fast!
Somehow you are sleeping until around 7:30 which is crazy and if we play hard you are taking a morning nap-its been great.
Reflux is back! At the end of this week you were hiccup burping and spitting up! I felt so bad! You would spit up way after eating and on Thursday night you were in pain! You only felt content being held up. I took you outside at night to change things up but you didn't relax until we were standing in front of the tv watching Mickey Mouse club house and then you had huge smiles and were out
Sunday your gigi and pop pop came over and helped us prepare the house for the move ad you were a super star. Seriously you just played and smiled and it helped us out so much. The day before we looked at houses and you were a doll then too.
Somehow you are sleeping until around 7:30 which is crazy and if we play hard you are taking a morning nap-its been great.
Reflux is back! At the end of this week you were hiccup burping and spitting up! I felt so bad! You would spit up way after eating and on Thursday night you were in pain! You only felt content being held up. I took you outside at night to change things up but you didn't relax until we were standing in front of the tv watching Mickey Mouse club house and then you had huge smiles and were out
Sunday your gigi and pop pop came over and helped us prepare the house for the move ad you were a super star. Seriously you just played and smiled and it helped us out so much. The day before we looked at houses and you were a doll then too.
20 Weeks
So this week you rolled over and pushed up on your own. I was talking to Gigi and looked down and there you were on your tummy pushing up with a big smile. Since that day you haven't stopped moving! In fact, you push your self up on your feet! The wiggles arent stopping there we are going to put your craddle up and take out the pack and play because you move so much i8n your sleep and keep getting stuck between the bars!
You also are trying to sit up! You dont want to be held like a baby to be fed anymore which makes bottle feeding a little harder. You are also trying to sit up on your swing so we are going to have to retire it this week!
At the begging of the week you were not sleeping well nor eating. After not eating well for 3 days I took you to the doctor. They pricked your finger and it was the first time I saw your blood! It made me so sad! Everything came back fine but you did have a small virus. Everything went back to normal a day later.
I think your eyes are turning brown or green but im not 100% sure yet.
I took you to a viewing party in the ATL for the inauguration. I want you to experience so many different things and help make you well rounded. I think going to something like this does just that!
I am still very insecure and feel like if you make a peep everyone is staring. But you did great and I need to get over that. You had a great time. You loved all of the energy and just took it in with those big blue eyes! I am so glad I had my little buddy there with me. I cant wait to take you to these things when you are older!
You also are trying to sit up! You dont want to be held like a baby to be fed anymore which makes bottle feeding a little harder. You are also trying to sit up on your swing so we are going to have to retire it this week!
I took you to a viewing party in the ATL for the inauguration. I want you to experience so many different things and help make you well rounded. I think going to something like this does just that!
Monday, January 16, 2017
15 Weeks
Colic! Really thats all there is to say! I called for back up this week because I was feeling so overwhelmed! Hearing non stop crying really takes a lot out of a momma.
So Monday grandpa came and helped out. He came with me to the dr as we thought your ear hurt but turns out you are just teething!
So Monday grandpa came and helped out. He came with me to the dr as we thought your ear hurt but turns out you are just teething!
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