Today we hard core partied kid. Well, sort of. By party I mean no Naps! We went to run errands and then I whisked you away to the library for a drumming demonstration. I felt kind of bad because you passed out in the car on our way over which is all of 5 minutes away. But I figured this is a good experience and you can nap after it :)
FYI kiddo, if you cried or looked miserable we would have left. I'm not that hardcore.
When we got there the library was packed! Tons of kiddos. We have been to several actual events now and this was definitely the biggest one. I wasn't sure how you were going to act at first because you laid in my lap and took a snack bottle!
Even though you were tired and not your complete self you did engage with some kids that just adored you and of course you ate it up :)
Anywho, you had a blast. It amazes me how attentive you already are. You totally rocked out on the maraca and a tambourine. People around us kept turning around to look at you because you were that damn cute!
and without rehashing what we learned and all of the drums we saw...thats basically it haha I just wanted to write this down so maybe one day it will help trigger a fun memory or you know, if you become some famous musician we can refer back to this and say where it all started. Either way works...
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Meeting Twins
Today was the first time me and Charlie were confronted by twins. We were at the drum show at the library and a little boy and girl just started talking and loving on charlie. It took a minute for me to realize and then I asked... With pride the mother said yes while the two little ones grinned back at me.
My heart stopped.
I think it will be like this for the rest of my life.
For just a few minutes or maybe it wasnt even minutes maybe it was seconds but whatever amount of time it was a million little thoughts filled my head and played out in my mind. Me with two babies in my lap. Me and two babies taking the world in. The three of us playing with the other twins. Me grinning back and saying they are twins too!
When she said they were twins I had such a strong urge to say so is he! (with happiness and excitement). But I cant do that, can I?
There is two sides of twin grief. Part of me is so excited to say I have twins! I'm part of the club!
...While the other side mourns the loss. There is an indescribable happiness and sorrow with the loss of a twin. Some days I want to cry thinking about Gabe and Charlie while others I am sooooo thankful to have experienced that joy. While today I felt both emotions.
The grief and the what ifs went away just about as fast as they came and I went right back to what I was doing. No one probably even noticed anything. In fact, I was smiling and playing with the children while all this was going on in my head ...and my heart.
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| https://www.etsy.com/listing/194534334/loss-of-one-twin-art-download-girl-twins |
Monday, June 19, 2017
5/18/17
Feeding yourself doodles and puffs started loving on things soft holding it to u and sucking your thumb
(Found this in drafts! I guess a post I started but never followed up on- either way worthy of posting : for reference )
(Found this in drafts! I guess a post I started but never followed up on- either way worthy of posting : for reference )
The week of your birth
I had the urge to nest bad. There was so much to be done. Your dad finally took off Wednesday to help "finish" your room.
We went to the dr and thought I was leaking but nope, still 3 cm. I was a bit upset that were wasn't any movement.
I was able to see you twice this week once on Wednesday and then on Thursday! I really thought you would be a 9/1 baby then in the middle of the night Friday (the 2nd) I had bad cramps. Around an hour later I realized there was a start and end to them! I laid in bed and started tracking them- I heard your dad on the computer but I stayed quiet in case it was nothing- 45 minutes in he walked in and I realized I was def contracting so we called the dr and headed in.
It was perfect timing we left at four and got there around five and best traffic! Tg! I was brought into to l and d fast. I was afraid they were going to send me home I was still only 3 cm but I was having consistent contractions and 80% effaced. I think the process of getting checked in by the nurses took the longest which wasn't even long. I remember having the urge to poop and vomit along with the pain and all the wires attached made it hard to focus on breathing through. Before I knew it the anesthesiologist was there with the epidural I really thought they were going to make me labor through it before giving it to me. The epidural was scary and I was afraid I would tense up during a contraction but I didn't. I did throw up though...
The epidural gave relief fast and I felt like myself if not better. I wiggled my toes as much as I could because I was afraid of losing feeling. Dr Moore came into break my water. It didn't hurt if anything I think it felt good? Maybe less pressure. At that time we realized you had your first bowel movement so they had to drain me. Honestly I think the epidural helped the most because you didn't realize you were all open and not lady like. If I could feel what was going on down there I think I would naturally be tensed up and uncomfortable.
They started the pitocin and told us to take a nap but before that could happen I felt pressure and the need to push so we called them in there and believe it or not it was time. I had a strange wow this is happening moment as they were getting me in position. Everything just slowed down and there was peace and silence in that one second.
The pushing wasn't bad. I did realize I was pushing my feet into their arms and I realized I was doing the opposite of what I needed. I also thought of all the things I read where women pushed then went weak at the end so the head went back in so at the end of each push I pushed harder! They felt your head fast and within 45 minutes you were here. I didn't feel any pain when you came out I actually thought you came out earlier. I'm not sure what I saw! For some reason that final push is something I can't stop thinking about one minute you're in me the next right here.
They plopped you on my chest for a second then whisked you away to be checked. I don't remember much about me getting fixed but I do remember you. After your bath they were going to bring you to me but I said let your daddy hold you first. He was by you the entire time. Then they brought you to me...
We went to the dr and thought I was leaking but nope, still 3 cm. I was a bit upset that were wasn't any movement.
I was able to see you twice this week once on Wednesday and then on Thursday! I really thought you would be a 9/1 baby then in the middle of the night Friday (the 2nd) I had bad cramps. Around an hour later I realized there was a start and end to them! I laid in bed and started tracking them- I heard your dad on the computer but I stayed quiet in case it was nothing- 45 minutes in he walked in and I realized I was def contracting so we called the dr and headed in.
It was perfect timing we left at four and got there around five and best traffic! Tg! I was brought into to l and d fast. I was afraid they were going to send me home I was still only 3 cm but I was having consistent contractions and 80% effaced. I think the process of getting checked in by the nurses took the longest which wasn't even long. I remember having the urge to poop and vomit along with the pain and all the wires attached made it hard to focus on breathing through. Before I knew it the anesthesiologist was there with the epidural I really thought they were going to make me labor through it before giving it to me. The epidural was scary and I was afraid I would tense up during a contraction but I didn't. I did throw up though...
The epidural gave relief fast and I felt like myself if not better. I wiggled my toes as much as I could because I was afraid of losing feeling. Dr Moore came into break my water. It didn't hurt if anything I think it felt good? Maybe less pressure. At that time we realized you had your first bowel movement so they had to drain me. Honestly I think the epidural helped the most because you didn't realize you were all open and not lady like. If I could feel what was going on down there I think I would naturally be tensed up and uncomfortable.
They started the pitocin and told us to take a nap but before that could happen I felt pressure and the need to push so we called them in there and believe it or not it was time. I had a strange wow this is happening moment as they were getting me in position. Everything just slowed down and there was peace and silence in that one second.
The pushing wasn't bad. I did realize I was pushing my feet into their arms and I realized I was doing the opposite of what I needed. I also thought of all the things I read where women pushed then went weak at the end so the head went back in so at the end of each push I pushed harder! They felt your head fast and within 45 minutes you were here. I didn't feel any pain when you came out I actually thought you came out earlier. I'm not sure what I saw! For some reason that final push is something I can't stop thinking about one minute you're in me the next right here.
They plopped you on my chest for a second then whisked you away to be checked. I don't remember much about me getting fixed but I do remember you. After your bath they were going to bring you to me but I said let your daddy hold you first. He was by you the entire time. Then they brought you to me...
feb 17-24
feb 17-24
you are on all fours and bouncing front to back! you are getting ready to crawl! you look like you are doing an irish jig in your bouncer!
you are on all fours and bouncing front to back! you are getting ready to crawl! you look like you are doing an irish jig in your bouncer!
6/19
So today is the 19th of June. We have done a lot this month and I figured I would go ahead and get it all down!
You had your fist hair cut! It was past your eyes. I couldn't believe how long it got. You were fabulous and just sat there looking around while she cut. The stylist next to us said she actually forgot a baby was getting a cut. You were great and looked so adorable sitting there. Your hair cute has got me all goggley eyed because it is that cute on you. You look like little boy and not a baby anymore!
You went on your first vacation. You did well in the car. You did whine some but I would too if I had your energy and was stuck inside.
On our way we stopped to eat and you were so interested in what others were doing. You were completely turned around to watch the action. After the drive we went to the beach to let you see it for the first time. You were def more interested in the sand but it was still fun!
The first day we were there it rained! So that morning I took you to the aviation museum. It was packed because it was rainy so we didn't get to play at the kiddie hawk playground which is what I wanted :) But we did get to check out some bad ass planes. Any plane they had out to sit in I put you in. Even though you dont know whats going on I want you to experience as much as possible! Im hoping these great experiences will just add to what I hope is a fabulous life little one.
You enjoyed sitting in the planes! You were intrigued and wanted to pull and touch everything! You saw Nixon's helicopter, the one were he waves good bye. I figured I would let you know that in case you become a history buff like me. You saw a lot and didn't show any sign of being bored the entire time we were there. Seriously, you were great. Even though I didn't read any of the plaques it was so much fun to walk around with you and watch you discover new things.
After the museum we went to a pub. Oh my gosh they had the best meatloaf. You devoured it. Again, you sat at the table looking at everyone, eating your meatloaf and not one peep! Afterwards you fell asleep in the car (it took all of 2 minutes). I was going to let you take a nap but at this point it was sunny out and I said screw it we are going to the beach. We were there only 30 minutes or so and you enjoyed every minute of it.
Your dad took a day off so we could all go to the beach together. You were OK with looking at the water but you were scared if we put you near it and waves came. I cant wait to go back with all of your cousins. One thing is for sure, I want to go to calm beaches. Even though the water was by no means rough there was no way I was taking you out there. Hopefully, next beach it will be crystal clear and lake like.
Today we went to the kid social hour at the library. There weren't that many kids but there were enough to keep your attention. You loved the balls they had out and chased them around, and then just watched other kids. I love watching you interact and observe other kids! Tomorrow I plan on taking you to baby story time!
Eating, eating is better. You have been interested in the packs where you squeeze out the pure. You are still a cheerio fan. Oh, you just learned how to use your snack cup although you sure twirl your hand in it a lot before puling out anything.
Anytime you see me eating you come right over with a big grin and want to try what I have! This too has been fun although at dinner time I just want to eat!
You are standing up randomly and alone! You can walk if you just someones hand. Its adorable!
Im so tired right now but Ill right more later! I was just looking back at old posts at it goes from 38 weeks pregnant to 2 weeks old! Haha oh well. I think I may try to jot some things down so I dont forget them about your birth!
You had your fist hair cut! It was past your eyes. I couldn't believe how long it got. You were fabulous and just sat there looking around while she cut. The stylist next to us said she actually forgot a baby was getting a cut. You were great and looked so adorable sitting there. Your hair cute has got me all goggley eyed because it is that cute on you. You look like little boy and not a baby anymore!
You went on your first vacation. You did well in the car. You did whine some but I would too if I had your energy and was stuck inside.
On our way we stopped to eat and you were so interested in what others were doing. You were completely turned around to watch the action. After the drive we went to the beach to let you see it for the first time. You were def more interested in the sand but it was still fun!
The first day we were there it rained! So that morning I took you to the aviation museum. It was packed because it was rainy so we didn't get to play at the kiddie hawk playground which is what I wanted :) But we did get to check out some bad ass planes. Any plane they had out to sit in I put you in. Even though you dont know whats going on I want you to experience as much as possible! Im hoping these great experiences will just add to what I hope is a fabulous life little one.
You enjoyed sitting in the planes! You were intrigued and wanted to pull and touch everything! You saw Nixon's helicopter, the one were he waves good bye. I figured I would let you know that in case you become a history buff like me. You saw a lot and didn't show any sign of being bored the entire time we were there. Seriously, you were great. Even though I didn't read any of the plaques it was so much fun to walk around with you and watch you discover new things.
After the museum we went to a pub. Oh my gosh they had the best meatloaf. You devoured it. Again, you sat at the table looking at everyone, eating your meatloaf and not one peep! Afterwards you fell asleep in the car (it took all of 2 minutes). I was going to let you take a nap but at this point it was sunny out and I said screw it we are going to the beach. We were there only 30 minutes or so and you enjoyed every minute of it.
Your dad took a day off so we could all go to the beach together. You were OK with looking at the water but you were scared if we put you near it and waves came. I cant wait to go back with all of your cousins. One thing is for sure, I want to go to calm beaches. Even though the water was by no means rough there was no way I was taking you out there. Hopefully, next beach it will be crystal clear and lake like.
Today we went to the kid social hour at the library. There weren't that many kids but there were enough to keep your attention. You loved the balls they had out and chased them around, and then just watched other kids. I love watching you interact and observe other kids! Tomorrow I plan on taking you to baby story time!
Eating, eating is better. You have been interested in the packs where you squeeze out the pure. You are still a cheerio fan. Oh, you just learned how to use your snack cup although you sure twirl your hand in it a lot before puling out anything.
Anytime you see me eating you come right over with a big grin and want to try what I have! This too has been fun although at dinner time I just want to eat!
You are standing up randomly and alone! You can walk if you just someones hand. Its adorable!
Im so tired right now but Ill right more later! I was just looking back at old posts at it goes from 38 weeks pregnant to 2 weeks old! Haha oh well. I think I may try to jot some things down so I dont forget them about your birth!
Friday, June 9, 2017
9 Months
Time slow down! Hey little boy you just turned 9 months. This month has been the best yet.
Your little personality comes out more and more each day.
At 9 months you have 6 teeth and just broke your 7th. You just started using your push cart and love walking with it. Its so funny to see because you are so petite and there you are walking! You like other people! I have taken you to events and you go right up to other kids wanting them to play.
I took you to the GiGi's this week and she had a dinner party. We had you seated at the table with us in your high chair and it was as though you were one of us! You laughed when we laughed, you were full of emotion. It was amazing. Seriously it was as though you knew exactly what was going on!
I also took you to baby story time! You did great and went right up to other kids. They of course were shy but you showed no fear and I loved it! You definitely liked story time and I cant wait to take you again.
We have also gone swimming! You love it. You actually let me lay you on your back and let me kick your legs for you. We have gone several times now and we stayed for an hour the other day. After swimming I bundled you up and fed you snacks and you just sat there eating and looking around.
You saw the ENT last week and things look good but he still wants us to continue prilosec. We will visit him again when you turn a year!
Eating. Eating has been very frustrating. You were doing wonderful eating then this past week it has been a major struggle! I feel like you I did when you had reflux and wouldn't/couldn't eat. Its very stressful and I am hoping its only because of that new tooth. Otherwise you are taking your bottle fine and have taken up to 12oz at time.
I am not sure what your favorite food is right now. You have had waffles, pancakes, breakfast sausage, sweet potato, baked potato, green beans, chicken, and meatloaf so far. I think its still a little to early for green beans and maybe waffles,
You will be going to Florida this week! Your dad is going on a business trip and we will be joining him. Im excited you will be joining me for an adventure! I hope we have fun! When we get back me and your dad will be taking you to the firehouse next week for story time. We are excited!
Your little personality comes out more and more each day.
At 9 months you have 6 teeth and just broke your 7th. You just started using your push cart and love walking with it. Its so funny to see because you are so petite and there you are walking! You like other people! I have taken you to events and you go right up to other kids wanting them to play.
I took you to the GiGi's this week and she had a dinner party. We had you seated at the table with us in your high chair and it was as though you were one of us! You laughed when we laughed, you were full of emotion. It was amazing. Seriously it was as though you knew exactly what was going on!
I also took you to baby story time! You did great and went right up to other kids. They of course were shy but you showed no fear and I loved it! You definitely liked story time and I cant wait to take you again.
We have also gone swimming! You love it. You actually let me lay you on your back and let me kick your legs for you. We have gone several times now and we stayed for an hour the other day. After swimming I bundled you up and fed you snacks and you just sat there eating and looking around.
You saw the ENT last week and things look good but he still wants us to continue prilosec. We will visit him again when you turn a year!
Eating. Eating has been very frustrating. You were doing wonderful eating then this past week it has been a major struggle! I feel like you I did when you had reflux and wouldn't/couldn't eat. Its very stressful and I am hoping its only because of that new tooth. Otherwise you are taking your bottle fine and have taken up to 12oz at time.
I am not sure what your favorite food is right now. You have had waffles, pancakes, breakfast sausage, sweet potato, baked potato, green beans, chicken, and meatloaf so far. I think its still a little to early for green beans and maybe waffles,
You will be going to Florida this week! Your dad is going on a business trip and we will be joining him. Im excited you will be joining me for an adventure! I hope we have fun! When we get back me and your dad will be taking you to the firehouse next week for story time. We are excited!
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