Today was the first time me and Charlie were confronted by twins. We were at the drum show at the library and a little boy and girl just started talking and loving on charlie. It took a minute for me to realize and then I asked... With pride the mother said yes while the two little ones grinned back at me.
My heart stopped.
I think it will be like this for the rest of my life.
For just a few minutes or maybe it wasnt even minutes maybe it was seconds but whatever amount of time it was a million little thoughts filled my head and played out in my mind. Me with two babies in my lap. Me and two babies taking the world in. The three of us playing with the other twins. Me grinning back and saying they are twins too!
When she said they were twins I had such a strong urge to say so is he! (with happiness and excitement). But I cant do that, can I?
There is two sides of twin grief. Part of me is so excited to say I have twins! I'm part of the club!
...While the other side mourns the loss. There is an indescribable happiness and sorrow with the loss of a twin. Some days I want to cry thinking about Gabe and Charlie while others I am sooooo thankful to have experienced that joy. While today I felt both emotions.
The grief and the what ifs went away just about as fast as they came and I went right back to what I was doing. No one probably even noticed anything. In fact, I was smiling and playing with the children while all this was going on in my head ...and my heart.
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| https://www.etsy.com/listing/194534334/loss-of-one-twin-art-download-girl-twins |
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