We went into the ultrasound pretty scared. We hoped and prayed you would be in there happy, healthy and with a strong heartbeat. I tried to do a grounding meditation before I went in to make myself present and so that I wouldn't be thinking about the what ifs. It did help a little. But I was still nervous. It was that cold clammy nervousness mixed with the nervousness you get right before your first kiss!
The tech was conversational and I am thankful for that. When they first do the ultrasound you can see screen but you cant hear anything. I held my breath and just stared. You could see there was defiantly something there but because she didn't have the sound on I couldn't tell if there was a heartbeat. When she there was a strong heartbeat it was the biggest sigh of relief ever.
She then began taking measurements and was moving the thing around my stomach so I started talking to Mike. He kept teasing me about having twins! So I said, look Mike there IS only one in there after all! And before I could take another breath the tech said no theres not. And as I was saying what??? two little babies appeared on the screen.
It was the purest, happiest moment in my life.
The fear I had, the uncertainties all went away at that moment.
I started crying and laughing. My entirte body was consumed by this joy. I cant even describe the happiness I felt. I never experienced anything like it.
I don't really remember anything else from that appointment. I was in a trance of happiness.
Anytime I think back to that day, the day I saw you, the day I heard your heartbeats for the first time brings me to tears. I love you so much.
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